Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
