Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My penis needs a shock collar
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
