Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
