drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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