Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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