I am in a vortex of obligation.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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