Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We left the knife in your bed.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
