Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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