I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
