need another drink. this is the easiest way
Your face is a jimmy john
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
