We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
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he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
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One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube