Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.