i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.