I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?