just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
