If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.