ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
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Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
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I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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