We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
