he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.â€
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