when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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