She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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