We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
