We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
