Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
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