just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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