4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize