420 ftw
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
