If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
