We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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