i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
