How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
