I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize