I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i now understand why vodka
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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