If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't deserve a penis
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
