In America we eat man semen.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
