Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
