i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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