I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
