Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize