Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
