I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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