super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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