I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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