hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
