Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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