Me too!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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