She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.