Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
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Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
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I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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