I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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