(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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