HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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