Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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