She's JV to your varsity
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
