In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
nutella sex= disaster
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
