Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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