when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
