I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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