Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
my liver is dry heaving
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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