why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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