Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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