You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
