he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
and she was petting her beer can
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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