hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
