Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
