Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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