I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize