I smell stomach acid.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
