I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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