He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
