I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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