OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There are leaves in my underwear?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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