I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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