At least make sure they are 18
Why
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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