yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
