Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
