Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
