is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
