why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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