All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
